My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Let's get the cat blown out
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
