Plan B is the new Plan A
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
