Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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