He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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