Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
