Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize