In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
