Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
