i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
