guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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