That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
BRING THE BAGELS
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
