Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
