do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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