Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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