My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize