well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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