if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
