why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
