Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
