At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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