my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
