Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
