yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
