is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
