you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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