she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
