i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
two words...techno handjob
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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