Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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