he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
