Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
