I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
