Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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