I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
