Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
