i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
