have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Two words: blizzard sex
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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