playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He passed out mid-signature
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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