Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
