Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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