I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Send help, water and tortillas.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize