You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Congratulations! We have a period
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
