Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
