HIV tests are more positive than that guy
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
