Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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