all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she pinky promised me she was 18
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
