I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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