I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am spending my child support on dildos
they need to just BURY HIM!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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