Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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