it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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