What a fucking waste of an outfit
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
