I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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